I should have started blogging at the beginning of my pregnancy so I
could reflect on all the little details later in life. But, that didn't
happen. Maybe I'll take time later in this blog to go back and recap the
high points during those 37 weeks. For now, its all about how our
little snuggle bug made his entrance into the world and the days
following. This truly is a story for the books, so sit back and enjoy..
For
a couple weeks leading up to his day o' birth, I had been experiencing
excruciating sciatic pain. Chiropractor, Advil, stretches..nothing was
working and I couldn't walk. I made a visit to my OB's office at 36wks 3
days and after seeing the pain I was in, coupled with previous issues
(which, we will discuss in later posts), he gave me the option of being
induced two weeks from then- May 1st. My husband and I talked it over
and agreed to discuss it again at my next appointment. You see, I had
never been keen on the possibility of being induced. I wanted everything
au naturel- you know, water breaks (only happens in 15% of women, but I
wanted to be in that 15%), labor at home, wait for 5-1-1 contractions,
go to the hospital and push out a baby. In my mind, THAT is how snuggle
bug would enter the world. Lesson #1 of motherhood: Trying to take
complete control of any situation will invariably make things messier.
Fast
forward a week: I rolled out of bed for my weekly appointment, where we
would now discuss the very real possibility of induction the following
week. I hadn't slept well, what pregnant woman does? and was feeling a
little "off". I was fighting waves of nausea and overall blah-ness. As I
was sitting in the waiting room, my vision started to blur and things
got a little swirly. The nurse immediately took me back as my right arm
and side of my face started to go numb. My blood pressure had spiked and
my sugar had dropped. Insert the waterworks. I don't even know how my
doctor understood anything I said through the blabbering of my
hysterical, emotional, pregnant self. But, he did and immediately
suggested the induction be scheduled that day. WHAAAAAT?! Hold on. We
were just supposed to make things more concrete for NEXT week and now I
have to decide what to do today while I'm an emotional wreck and don't
feel good. As I lay there completely tongue-tied, my doctor voiced how
he felt my body had just "had enough" and was sending me not-so-subtle
signals. Again, really? I thought our bodies were designed for this
whole pregnancy thing? End result: I agreed and headed home to meet my
husband and grab the hospital bags. Snuggle bug was about to be on his
way.
Upon admission, I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced
so at 2:36pm, the doctor broke my water. At 6:00pm, I was still 3cm/80%
and given the option to start Pitocin or I could have another 2 hours to
see if I progressed naturally. I. DID. NOT. WANT. PITOCIN. I had heard
many
horror stories about induction with Pitiocin
ending in epidurals and c-sections, and I wanted neither of those! But, I
also didn't want to be in the hospital for the next week trying to have
a baby. So I agreed to the Pitocin. Every 20 minutes they increased the
dosage and by 7:15, hellloooooo excruciating pain. The nurse checked me
around that time and I was 4cm and told I would dilate about 1cm/hr.
Holy cow. There was no way I could handle that for the next 6 hours.
Around 8:00ish (these times are estimates based on my husband's
recollection as I had my eyes shut the entire time, trying to block out
the pain) I was 5cm and loudly voicing how much anguish I was
experiencing. Over the next hour, I know I was in pain but I honestly
can't remember it's intensity, which I'm attributing to adrenaline as I
had a medication free birth. The nurse told me to get on my knees and
elbows and rock back-and-forth to ease some of the pain. I could barely
move, but managed to get in that position and within 10 minutes I
screamed, "HE'S COMING!!" to which I received a response along the lines
of "I just checked you and you were a 5, but I'll check again". In my
head, I responded back "Oh that's right I forgot, you can feel
everything I'm going through so you MUST know rather or not this child
is about to come out." *This is the first of a series of incidences
which made me a very unhappy momma bear* The
mouthy
nurse checks me and says, "Oh, She's complete!!" and even has another
nurse confirm because, yes ladies and gentlemen, I dilated 5cm in an
hour and snuggle bug was coming out!!
The next however-many minutes are a blur to me as I fought NOT to
push with the contractions, which is an incredibly difficult task that I
did not do well, as we waited for the doctor to arrive. I think my
husband was convinced the nurses were going to have to deliver our
little boy and I wasn't so sure myself. Finally the doctor came in and
it was go-time! Pushing was not what I expected at all, and I think I
even surprised my husband. It went a little like this..
Scream, grunt, push, yell for 10-12 seconds.
-Complete silence for a minute or so-
Me to the doctor: "Ready? I'm going to push again."
Scream, grunt, push, yell for 10-12 seconds.
-Complete silence for another minute-
Me: "Here we go"
Scream, grunt, push, yell for 10-12 seconds.
Scream, grunt, push, yell for 10-12 seconds.
Scream, grunt, push, yell for 10-12 seconds.
And snuggle bug arrived on April 24th at 9:57pm weighing 7lbs 8oz...or so we were told.
Over the next few days, we had a few completely unavoidable
scares/issues that only added to momma bear's unhappiness. First, we
were told that by the end of the first day he had lost 9% of his body
weight and < 10% was cause for alarm. It was the belief of the nurses
that he wasn't getting enough through breastfeeding. I fought back and
told them I could hear him swallowing and our lactation consultant said
he was latching wonderfully, so I wasn't 100% convinced. Not to mention,
he was having adequate wet and dirty diapers. Regardless of momma's
protests, his nurse came in and discussed supplementing with formula to
which I responded by sobbing uncontrollably. All I could think was, "His
first 24 hours of life and I'm failing him by not being able to provide
what he needs." Talk about a shot to the heart. Needless to say, with
every drop of formula I put in his mouth, I cried a little harder.
While battling the supplementing issue, we were hit with
jaundice. As common with 2 out of every 3 babies and more common in
breastfed babies, snuggle bug had a little too much bilirubin in his
system. His nurse measured his level with what looked like a thermometer
and after consulting with the doctor, informed us they would need to
take some blood to get a more accurate measure because his level was
pretty high. He informed us that there was a possibility of additional
time in the hospital and the use of photo-therapy to prevent his levels
from rising any further. We were told it was important to combat this
issue before it could cause learning disabilities..and I blacked out
after that. First, he's not gaining weight and now he could have
learning problems? How in the world had we gone from complete and total
bliss to feeling like our little one was stricken with health problems?
As I'd already learned my lesson about control, I gave it all over to
the Lord and prayed a solution would be found. Man, was He quick.
Later that evening, the nurse came back in and let us know he had
plotted the bilirubin levels incorrectly according to snuggle bug's age
and he really wasn't in danger. Cue emotions. We were beyond relieved
that he was okay, but I was NOT happy with the incorrect diagnosis. The
next morning we were told he was now at a 12% weight loss and it was
more important than ever to supplement as he was clearly not getting
what he needed. And the flood gates opened. I cried and cried and cried
some more. How was this possible? He was nursing like a champ AND I was
giving him the formula. Through God's hands, a nurse recognized that
such a drastic weight loss was not common and there had to be another
issue. I will forever be grateful to her diligence and level of patient
care she exhibited. She decided to look back through his chart and
noticed his birth weight in grams did not match the lbs/oz conversion.
All of the calculations (and what we were told) reflected 7lbs 8oz, but
in reality our little one only weighed 7lbs *.*8oz- barely over 7lbs.
Courtesy of my doctor's instruction, my husband had taken a picture of
snuggle bug as he was on the scale and what do ya know? 7lbs, .8oz Cue
emotions, again. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You've basically been telling me my
child is failing to thrive when it was a calculation error on the part
of the hospital? When we left, 2 and a half days after he was born, his
actual weight loss was 6%. Perfectly normal and healthy.
During all of this chaos and misinformation, we learned that the
hospital records reflected a birth time of 9:50pm, when I specifically
asked in the delivery room and was told 9:57pm. While that isn't a big
deal (we're sticking with 9:57pm, by the way) it was just another
reflection of the numerous issues we had during our stay.
Looking down at this sweet face sleeping peacefully on my chest, I
quickly forget everything that was "wrong" and can't see anything but
perfection. Yes, we had a rough patch. Yes, we were scared. But, we're
parent's now, right? That's how things will go from time to time. I
thank God every night for this precious little boy and how he's already
changed our lives. Never could I have imagined how quickly and
selflessly I could love someone. God has truly held our hands and guided
us through this pregnancy, delivery, and first week of life. Happy one
week birthday, snuggle bug! Mommy and Daddy love you more than you could
ever imagine.
"..
every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father.."
James 1:17
